What I feel today is extreme dis attachment. It comes along every so often. I don't give flying fuck. about. anything.
I couldn't possibly deal with anything difficult or complicated today. Cause I would just walk away. Which includes and is not inclusive to: more than a 4 min convo, more than a 5 min activity, more than writing a few paragraphs on here.
I know today is one of those days I'm going to struggle to get myself ready, when I do have to put myself together to go meet my brother in about an hour. Its a day where faking it will be extra exhausting. It might be somewhat of a relief to start faking it tho, cause being stuck in my mind blows right now.
Today is one of those days I want to die, not because Im overwhelmed with sadness and grief, but because I'm underwhelmed with having a clue on caring about anything.
I'm attempting to accept this reality today, and believe that there's a good chance I will wake up feeling different tomorrow.
