My dark

I dont get to start my life.

I cant chase my dreams. I wait. I wait. And wait. And wait. And then here it is, here it starts and ends.

My darkness comes.

Making my skin crawl, and my face distort.

Making my dreams fall, and my safe leave.

Making me hate more than you can ever imagine being able to loath every single thought that comes to my own mind.

Takes my memories and makes them a lie.

Takes my abilities and makes them joke.

Takes my body and makes it a burden and a torture.

Takes my life and makes it impossible.

Speaking is torture. Moving is irratating.

Bathing is out of the question.

Looking in a mirror is an invitation to imagine ripping my face off.

Knowing it is all for sure is the only real thing. period.

This is what my thoughts and feelings look like when my dark comes - my depression.


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

alone everywhere its the same. alienation when asked 'how are u', or even more so ' are u doing better now'. it was the same when everyone and their mom talks about how 'the alchemist' changed their lives. or the secret. When they realized it was a strength from within. or a desire. or a power. what about when darkness is all there is from within. if i had the balls, or any real courage, id really really leave.