who am i?

And i really dont mean that in the 'undiscovered/yet to get out there and spread my wings/tortured passionate youthfull way.

I mean it in the - when im not depressed, i dont fully recognize myself way.

Smoking piff does not help this perdicament tho..it reeeeaaaally doesn't.

I've kinda isolated that my real real troubled places in my 'identifying with self' areas are exsasperated by a) my mom and b) a dude i like (no one in particular, just anyone ive ever loved hard) c) singing.

Do i hate my voice entirely, or do i like/love it? (singing)
Do i hate my face entirely, or is it not that bad? (and not just in perfectly angled pics, where ive spent hours on hair and makeup)
Do i want to spend time with a dude i might be actually feeling, or am i FAR more comfortable having a f*ck buddy?
Will i perform well tomoro, or will i be plauged with all the thoughts that are so loud, they leave me clueless as to what information is authentic, what info is inaccurate... what if I have no way of telling whether im good or not?
Is it ok when me and mom feel like friends, or is it a dumb pretend trick im taking part in?

i feel like smeegal


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLvIFRNbqOs