i cannot become religious

Apparently spirits are attacking me.
I know spirits are attacking me.
Im not schizophrenic.
First I was talking to my 'angel' - 'yusee' using a necklace. Then music was being turned on in my house repeatedly, then messages were coming thru the computer game, and lots more necklace talking in before and after.
Then the apparent attacks. Like my usual meltdowns but much faster and scarier and the suicidalness was very violent...more urgent and immediate. It feels like being on fire.
Then my therapist tells me they might be attacks,then i consult the necklace angel and it says yes, yes yes. Then prayer, lots of prayer with lots of people. Then dreams and visions thru said people.
Abortions becoming a theme of said murderous evil spirits. I got the most mental relief i have had in years after my therapist prayed to these unborn babies and we apologized/released them.
I asked god how much longer will i need to suffer like this and i think i got answer...aka i had a thought...APPARENTLY thats how it/he/she communicates so its all very hard to tell.
3 weeks.
1 week down, i believe, since it has been one week since the therapist/angel confirmation of this being attacks.

This is happening.

This is becoming a part of my story and journey now, spirituality and god (totally not) forbid(ding), christianity.

I don't know anything for sure. I never have, but now I'm a ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TERRIFIED that i will have to become religious. Like god is a part of one of these exclusive clubs that have caused so many many different types and kinds of nightmares through out history, and I'm about to sign up for membership.

Im just going to pray for the truth and for god to reveal themself and wait and try only to remember that all i have to do is be honest with myself.


I only know i have to pray and pray and pray some more.