ketamine day 2

it goes like this:

i take it every three days. I up my dose every time by 1/4 the amount. I keep upping my dose until a) we know its working b) I hallucinate.

Usually its shot up in you, in the hospital, but now they are letting people do pills, even though some psychiatrist don't believe pills are as effective as intravenous. Its only being investigated, and some of us are lucky enough to be getting it as a aggressive (desperate) measure.

Its effects (high) lasts only 2, or 3 hours and then its out of my system. Its the next day(s) i could start feeling better depression wise

So when i took it the first day, i felt it was a tranquillizer. It is actually used as a analgesic. Both pharmacists asked why i was being put on it. Saying Depression (and then eye contact) is wack.

I laid in bed with lights off and no sound, like the doctor told me too, and i just felt high and tranquillized. then back to normal about 2.5 hours later.



So now its 2 days after i took it and i def don't feel better. scared and neurotic.

sleepy.

upset with my days and self and everyone

so heavy